|You must have a valid Paramedic hunting license.|
|The use of hamburgers as bait is prohibited.|
|It shall be unlawful to shout "help" or "please hurry" for the purpose of trapping Paramedics.|
|It shall be unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest paramedics from Fire Stations, Hospitals, and designated Paramedic reserves.|
|It shall be unlawful to hunt Paramedics within 100 feet of state or federal property.|
|It shall be unlawful to herd Paramedics using women who are desirous of marriage, since this may cause Paramedics to stampede in fright.|
|It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself/herself as: a young attractive nurse, a man suffering a heart attack, or a victim of a traffic accident or smoke inhalation.|
|Sub-Species: Paramedicus boyscoutus (only spotted on cartoon series "Emergency+4) Limit: 3|
Neverloseapatientius (identify by its kind eyes, handsome features, and signature cry
of "takeiteasynow" or "helpisontheway") |
Addenda: Humane capture of Paramedics
The species Paramedicius Neverloseapatientius is often found in the Los Angeles County area. The best time to net one is after it has fallen into a swimming pool or gone out onto an ice rink.
Winter and autumn only. Paramedics shed their distinctive dark blue plumage during the warmer months. While in their light blue summer plumage they can be mistaken for other, less desirable species.
|To prevent damaging the hide, do not drag the paramedic along the ground or roll it downhill. If the paramedic must be dragged, lay it on a blanket or coat, or put a layer of brush or boughs underneath it.|
|When carrying a paramedic on horseback, be careful that ropes used to hold it in place do not rub the skin and damage the hide. A blanket, cloth or layers of grass placed between the ropes and hide will prevent damage.|
|When transporting by vehicle, be sure to keep the paramedic away from engine heat, gasoline, sunlight and road dust to prevent its spoilage.|
Regulations released by Chief McConikee, LACoFD
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